Potato Peelings
The Professor was broadminded but also extremely short sighted. He had read somewhere that potato peelings were a great way to increase sexual stamina. Quickly latching onto the fact that many men were lacking in this most desirable of energies, he immediately got down to work on devising a potato peeling machine.
Before long the whole living room was full with cogs and wheels, and joints and nails as the Professor busied himself with his new invention.
By 4-o-clock it was very nearly assembled. Mrs Glum, his long suffering housekeeper, who was well used to seeing the living room turned upside down when the Professor had a new idea, came in to ask if he would like a cup of tea and a piece of cake. The Professor readily acceded to the suggestion.
“Yes indeed Mrs Glum” he said “I find I myself am running low on stamina. Now do we have any potatoes in the house, because after tea I am going to put my theory to the test.”
“And what theory is that?” asked Mrs Glum.
“Well” said the Professor “I read somewhere that potato peelings might increase sexual stamina, so I have invented this here potato peeling machine.”
Mrs Glum blushed profusely and said “Well I don’t know anything about that Professor, I only know we’ve got enough King Edwards for your dinner tonight, so I hope this new machine will peel them properly.”
The Professor enjoyed his tea and a slice of walnut cake. After tea he put a drop of oil onto the new machine, and wheeled it into the kitchen. After some minor adjustments, the machine was working perfectly, peeling potatoes like there was no tomorrow. Potato peelings were piling up and spilling out of the coal scuttle.
“I say” said the Professor admiring his handiwork, “The opportunities for this machine will be huge. I do believe this could be the one that’s going to make our fortune.”
But Mrs Glum did not share his enthusiasm. In fact she looked a little, well, glum.
“Why Mrs Glum,” said the Professor, “why so dispirited?”
Mrs Glum opened a book on the kitchen table.
“Hmm” she said thoughtfully. “ I glanced at this book you were reading Professor, I think you must have forgotten to wear your glasses. It says here potent feelings might increase sexual stamina, it doesn’t say nothing about no potato peelings.”
“Ah” said the Professor ruefully, “Oh well, looks like the potato peeling machine has had its chips!”
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